new joke.

So these old asshole white guys get together. And they're like, "Dog!" No, something scarier. Hmmm, Alligator! No, no one will believe it.... Ok, Lizard, it's smaller. No, no. Something else.... Hawk! Yes that's menacing, yes. But make it more common. Sparrow? No, now it's not scary at all. Chicken? Yes, they are dirty. It's better. What about just "Bird?" Ok, wait a minute, yes. Just Bird. That sounds pretty good. Put it together now.... Ok, Bird. Flu. Bird Flu. Yes, that will scare them! Now just get some random footage of chickens to put on CNN. Chickens always look like they could have the flu. Get a bunch of them together and they look like a filthy flu rave! That will SELL much more saline I MEAN flu shots! BIRD. That's a great name for this tangential harmless strand. We can probably get two or three years out of it. Track its progress. Tell them it's nearing epidemic, or even more (fucking useless word) pandemic! 7 people got it in Uraguay, 3 in London! It's getting close to real, people (stupid Americans). Get your vaccines, "git yer flu shat!" Oh no, 58 people have it world wide! There's a case in Iowa, oh fuck! It's pandemic! Don't tell anyone that 36,000 people die of regular flu every year in the US, emphasize the 58. It's growing.

Uh oh, no one is scared any more. SALES are down. Hmm, Frog? Rat? Pig? Close, but too dirty.... Swine ?


-Mick Napier, Artistic Director

Annoyance Theater